You were born a blank canvas, a vessel of pure potential. But almost immediately, the world began to paint its strokes upon you. Parents, teachers, friends, society – each contributed to your conditioning, shaping the lens through which you perceive reality, and ultimately, who you believe you are. Just like me, you’ve likely wrestled with the question, “Who am I?” The world overwhelmed me, I felt insecure, and desperately searched for direction. I started countless studies, but none felt right. I became dependent on others, seeking validation and a sense of identity. Years later, after invaluable lessons and deep self-reflection, I now understand the powerful influence of conditioning on our true selves.
This article is your journey to the core of who you are, an exploration of the unseen forces that shape you and often distract you from your authentic self. It’s an invitation for you to shed the masks you wear, to unravel the stories your ego has constructed, and to discover the beauty of your true light. My goal is to share my experiences, and to guide you on your own path of self-discovery. Together, we’ll dissect the mechanisms of conditioning, examine the ego’s role, and explore practical steps to liberate yourself from the prison of the familiar. This isn’t a theoretical exercise, but a profound exploration of the human experience, meant to inspire and empower you to live a life aligned with your true self.
“You are not the roles you play, nor the masks you wear. You are the light that shines behind them.”
What is Conditioning?
Conditioning is a fundamental learning process in which associations are formed between stimuli and responses.In psychology, we recognize two main types:
- Classical Conditioning: Think of Pavlov’s dogs, who learned to salivate at the sound of a bell.2 This type of conditioning links a neutral stimulus to a meaningful one, causing the neutral stimulus to evoke the same response.3
- Operant Conditioning: This type of conditioning revolves around reward and punishment.4 Behavior that is rewarded is repeated, while punished behavior decreases.5
These processes shape our beliefs, values, and behavioral patterns.6 We learn what is “good” and “bad,” what “success” means, and how to behave to be accepted. Like many others, I learned that hard work pays off, and that if I really wanted something, I would achieve it. But no one ever taught me what I wanted. And that is precisely the problem. Perhaps you recognize this too. You have a feeling that something is missing. That you are not in the right place. That you don’t know what you want. And that’s okay. I’ve been there too. Until I discovered that I was conditioned and living according to the expectations of others. Through mindfulness and self-reflection, I discovered my true self. My goal now is to help people discover their true selves.
The Role of the Ego
Our ego, that part of us that identifies with the self-image, embraces these conditionings. The ego wants consistency and predictability. It builds a story about who we are, based on our experiences and the messages we have received. The ego says, “This is me. This is how the world works.”
But often, this story is a lie. Our conditionings are not who we really are. They are merely the masks we wear, the roles we play. This can lead to frustration and a feeling of unfulfillment. It can also sabotage the law of assumption and manifestation, because you are not acting from your authentic self.
The Prison of the Familiar
Trapped in our conditionings, we often live in the past or the future, rarely in the present. We are busy repeating old patterns, avoiding pain, pursuing approval. We forget our true nature, our true light. Do you recognize that feeling of constantly seeking approval? The feeling that you are not enough? That you are always concerned with what other people think of you? This is a sign that you are trapped in your conditionings. By becoming aware of these patterns, you can take the first step towards freedom.
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Your Experience: A Mirror to Many
Your story is a perfect example of how conditioning can mislead us. You searched for your “true self,” but found only echoes of others. You followed paths that weren’t your own, seeking approval and security. You filled the void with the expectations of others, instead of finding your own voice.
The Path to Awakening
Conditioning is not inherently bad. It’s a natural part of human life. But it’s essential to become aware of our conditionings, to see them for what they are: learned patterns, not the truth. I remember one evening, sitting on the porch, looking at the moon. I was in a difficult relationship, following only his path, being mistreated and unhappy. That evening, I decided I wanted to choose myself, that I wanted to be happy. I decided to pledge my loyalty to myself. I began a journey of self-love and self-confidence. I learned that it’s okay to be alone, as long as you believe in yourself.
Here are some steps to discover your true self:
- Self-Observation: Observe your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors without judgment. Ask yourself, “Where does this come from?”
- Mindfulness: Practice being in the present moment. Let go of the past and the future.
- Self-Inquiry: Ask deep questions about your values, beliefs, and desires. What is truly important to you?
- Letting Go: Release the beliefs that no longer serve you. Be willing to challenge your ego.
Scientific Grounding
- Neuroplasticity: Our brain is dynamic and can adapt. Through new experiences and exercises, we can create new neural pathways and break old patterns.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps us recognize and change negative thought patterns. By recognizing these patterns, we can replace them with more positive and realistic thoughts.
- Epigenetics: This science shows that environmental factors, including our experiences, can influence the expression of our genes. This means that our conditioning not only affects our behavior, but also our biological processes.
The journey to self-discovery is not always easy. But it is worth it. By unmasking our conditionings, we can liberate our true selves and live a life that is authentic and fulfilling. Through my own journey, I have experienced the power of self-discovery. I want to help you find your own light, to free you from the chains of conditioning. Together, we can create a world in which everyone embraces their true self.